Transparency and Plagiocephaly...Two big, heavy words.

I have something to share that is difficult for me, but I think it is time to face my own discomfort and be transparent with those who care about us.  It is time to be vulnerable and courageous in order that others can feel supported and comfortable sharing their own struggles with me, no matter what they might be.  So here goes...

I've been keeping something from most of you.  Because of my own discomfort, fear, and self-esteem I have avoided sharing the fact that our son has Plagiocephaly.  Plagiocephaly is just a fancy word that means he has a flat spot on the back of his head.  You may know already that when Oscar was born he had a difficult time and got stuck for a bit.  Because of this, he developed a lump on the top left side of his head, and a tightness in the muscles on one side of his neck (which is called Torticollis).  It caused him to keep his head turned to the left all the time.  Because babies lay on their backs for many months, Oscar eventually developed a flat area on the left back side of his head that is fairly severe.

If you haven't seen him in person, you never would know that he has this condition.  I have done a fabulous job of keeping it from you buy only showing pictures of him from his "good side".  :)  How silly of me.  And how vain. 

When I was a little girl, I was picked on for having a more oval-shaped head than my peers.  I was called names and teased.  My mom (bless her heart) would comfort me by saying that my head was shaped differently so it could hold my huge brain, and that I was the smartest kid in the world.  It worked, for the most part.  But I have realized that the wounds of childhood go deep, and they tend to resurface when you have your own little one who you think is perfect in every way. 

For the past three months, we have worked with a Physical Therapist to correct Oscar's torticollis, all the while watching his head shape to see if it would "round out" on its own.  Instead of getting better, it has gotten worse, and eventually Bill and I had to make a decision on how to proceed with treatment for the plagiocephaly.  The treatment of choice is called a cranial helmet. 

This is not Oscar :)

I knew this was a possibility, but I guess I hoped it wouldn't be necessary.  It hurt me to think about the funny looks that people would shoot in my cute little baby's direction, or the ignorant comments people might make about him.  He is the cutest, sweetest little boy in the whole world, and I couldn't bear the thought of going through that with him. 

The reality is, he isn't going to know or care about what other people think!  He is just going to smile that heart-melting toothless smile of his at everyone he meets.  It's mommy that has the heart issue here.  We have chosen to proceed with the helmet, so that our son will not have to face being teased for his head shape like I was.  We know there will be other reasons for him to deal with peer-pressure and meanness, but we will deal with that when the time comes.  This was something we could control. 

I am struggling with the fear of "what people will think", and the momma bear in me rears up and roars any time I think about someone making fun of my baby.  But I am working through my fears with the Lord.  And I hope that by sharing my fears and Oscar's story, others will feel supported and encouraged.

SO, we begin Oscar's journey to a more round melon.  We've already heard (and said) our own jokes about him becoming a football player...now he'll have a helmet to complete the package.  :)

Today Oscar got his head scanned and molded so his helmet can be fabricated.  We will receive his helmet in two weeks.  My plan is to provide regular updates and pictures on his progress, and hopefully keep a light-hearted feel to this journey (for my sake).

Look at this cutie!

Thank you all for listening, for supporting, for understanding.  One day we will look back on this and smile!